i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
