went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
