I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
