belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
