i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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