I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I lost the right to judge tonight
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
