i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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