I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
