Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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