he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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