I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
i think i just lost a toe
Success! We fucked roommates!
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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