grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Randomize
