fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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