margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
