ya dads aren't the best wingmen
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
sick fucks of a feather flock together
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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