is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Randomize
