Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
