what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
and you fell through a lawn chair
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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