some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
