I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Randomize
