My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
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