Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
