I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
You are a genius and a whore.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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