Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize