She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
