I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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