either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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