This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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