id be glad to
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Randomize
