She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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