that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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