do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
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