Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
