i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
