if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
