if i can run in heels then i can drive
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
