so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
