So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Randomize
