Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
