We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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