omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
false alarm, still single
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