i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Life is so much better after having sex.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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