the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
