i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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