found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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