After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
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