you guys were way drunker than both of me
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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