I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
