There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
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