is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
