I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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