Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Randomize