I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I checked into jail on foursquare
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
