Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
he laminated a picture of his dick.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
