ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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