He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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